Positive Parenting And Using Incentive Programs

I'm a big believer in reasonably rewarding your child or children with incentives. It's worked in my house for years. However, it is not a one size fits all process. You will have to find out what leverage or incentive works best for your child.

With my son, his leverage is using tv or video games. My daughter can be more complicated. Usually a small treat or dollar store type toy works best. But there are many ideas you can use. I've also used a bag with "coupon" type of rewards that worked really well. A coupon or ticket might say "bake with mom" or "pick a game of your choice."

There are all types of sites that offer free printables for incentive charts. I found this Kidz Pointz website that offers a ton of great incentive charts and other resources. Some other great home reward suggestions listed by age group are listed on this site.
Whatever task or behavior change you are trying to bring forth, make sure to be consistent, pick an incentive program that your child gets excited about, and make a big deal about praising the positive behavior.

Coping with Child Anxiety

If you are a parent with a child who suffers from anxiety, you know how frustrating it can be. You want to help your child but you don't know how and it leaves you feeling desperate while your heart is aching for them.

This is how I felt nearly a year ago when my son began having panic attacks and severe anxiety around bedtime. The one thing I did know was that I was going to find the resources to get him help. A good place to start is your pediatrician. Our pediatrician was very helpful in referring child psychologists to contact. Even before our initial appointment the psychologist recommended some very useful books and workbooks.

A wonderful book is called Freeing Your Child From Anxiety by Tamar E. Chansky, Ph.D. And there are two workbooks that my son and I did together from "What-to-Do Guides for Kids." We used What to Do When You Worry Too Much and What to Do When You Dread You Bed. These are great tools for kids in overcoming anxiety using cognitive-behavioral techniques in a very child friendly way.

They are illustrated and interactive. In the "worry" guide, it compares the worry thoughts to a tomato plant that keeps growing and growing because you are tending to it. Just like worries will grow if you pay too much attention to them.

No matter what the anxiety is, know that it will be a process, and you will need to take little steps, and be VERY patient in helping your child deal with his or her fears. The resources along with the therapy have been completely helpful! No more panic attacks and sleeping soundly back in bed - hooray!

Owls Are Back

Owls are so popular these days. I don't know if it's a cyclical thing or not - remember those macrame owls from the seventies?

One of my very favorite hobbies is rubber stamping and making my own greeting cards. I have to say that I think Stampin' Up products are the very best for their card stock, inks, stamps, punches and accessories. Everything color coordinates so nicely. They even sell fabric now.

My friend and neighbor, Rachel is my Stampin' Up demonstrator and I'm in her stamp club that meets once a month. At the last stamp club we made these adorable owl calendars (magnet on back). I was soooo excited about these owl calendars I got a little over zealous and decided to make 8 of them as holiday gifts. Well, the holidays are over and I've only made 4 so far. There is no stamping involved but it's a bit tedious putting that cute little owl together. I still love how they turned out!

Instant Snow!

This week my preschool class is learning all about winter. Living in Richmond, VA you don't get to experience a lot of snow. And even if we did, the fun would be mostly limited to outside, but instant snow making kits are excellent for inside winter fun in sensory tables, tubs or buckets.

You just add water to the snow polymer and like magic it puffs up into play snow. It has a soft texture and even feels a bit cold like real snow. If you put it in the freezer for several hours it will feel even more like real snow. It's super easy and the kids love to watch the "magic" happen. You can buy "blizzard" kits online or you can just buy the instant snow powder. Here is an example of the blizzard kit we have for our classroom. I know I sound like an infomercial, but even adults have a hard time not playing with it.

New Year's Vision Boards

I'm not a huge fan of New Year's resolutions, however I am a believer of vision boards. I feel they are a great tool for focusing on a goal or goals, and reinforcing the goals on a daily basis. So despite my lack of enthusiasm over New Year's resolutions, I felt it was an appropriate time to create a new vision board, since the last time I made one was about three years ago. I also thought it would be a great project I could do with Benjamin to start off 2012.

All you need are some old magazines, glue, scissors, and some cardboard.

As you can see, Benjamin is going to work on his dental hygiene, and work on loving his younger sister more.

I'm not quite finished with mine, but I'm hoping that if I am able to see Martha Stewart smiling at me every morning, she will inspire my housekeeping efforts, like keeping up with the laundry and organization skills. I would hate it if her smile turned into a big frown if she saw the flood of laundry that usually invades our house.

Happy New Year!

A Guide to Daily Happiness for Kids

Are you a bucket filler or a bucket dipper??

I just bought this wonderful children's book called Have You Filled a Bucket Today? by Carol McCloud. It is the winner of many awards including the Mom's Choice Award. It is a story about how everyone carries around an invisible bucket, and our job is to fill our bucket with happy thoughts and feelings and how to help other people fill their buckets by doing nice things for them. In Judaism we call that doing mitzvot; good deeds.

I love when simple stories like this have profound messages and take tangible things, like in this case a child's toy to create a symbol for compassionate behavior. It also reminds me of one of my all time favorite books, Who Moved My Cheese by Spencer Johnson. We also have WMMC for Kids. My son always enjoys when I read him this story about about making changes and overcoming fears, when two little mice and Hem and Haw can't find their "old" cheese in a maze, and what they have to do to find "new" cheese. This story had a huge impact on my life when I had to make a big life-changing decision several years ago.

Have you filled somebody's bucket today?

Family fun during meals or on the road

A while back I bought a Chat Pack for Kids. I think I bought mine at Ben Franklin (teacher discount). They are tiny laminated slips of questions like, "If you were creating a movie about toys coming to life, what type of toy would be the main character?" These are great for restaurants, weekend nights, family dinners, and road trips and fit easily into a small bag or purse. If you have younger toddlers, you can always simplify a question or when it's their turn just make up something like, "what's your favorite animal?" They love to participate too. We have a similar game from Discovery Toys we enjoy called "Wiz Kidz." It appears they have a newer game out called Speed Wiz that looks like fun as well.

Here is another game that looks like fun in or out of the house.

Kids Table Topics

For a more frugal option, you can make up your own questions and place them in a mason jar or other decorated container.

It's amazing how well these types of games and activities bring your family closer together, you don't have to worry about a winner or loser, and they can be played just about anywhere.